D: Stuck means?
P: Pain is developing. I divide it into 3 phases. Initially it was as if all my muscles are in tension, they are torn. 3years back I felt that these muscles, I mean they are stretched to their limit. Now I feel those muscles have been pulled and they are stuck over there.
D: So slowly can you divide these 3 phases and repeat again what were the 3 phases?
P: Initially this pain started in June2000. That time I felt it is because I am putting more of my time in studies, I’m sitting all the time, nearly 16 hours I’m sitting, so may be its because of bad posture. So my mummy got me a different sort of special chair for this. Changing my position didn’t help. That time I felt that these muscles are al tensed up. I got an X- ray removed, there I saw that there was severe spasm with loss of lordosis. So I started taking S. madam’s medicine. It didn’t help. I don’t remember a single day when this pain is not there
D: Talk more about this first phase when you felt that muscles are all tensed up. In what way?
P: I felt that this is all straight. (showing) this all part (neck) is very straight as if muscles are pulled or they are tensed up.
D: OK. This was the first phase, spasm.
P: then I started feeling tension. The tension was more. These muscles are now being pulled, like in the first phase, it was like these muscles are just tensed up. Now I felt that these muscles are stretched in the second phase, and in the third phase now I am feeling, there is no muscle in the shoulder, all have become sort of rigid rods, that they can’t be stretched, they can’t even relax now, its like as if the whole of my shoulder and this neck part is solid part.
D: So, right now you would put yourself in this phase?
P: Yes, sir.
D: So can you talk about this phase , little more, this recent phase?
P: Its more of stiffness rather than pain. When I get up in the morning, there is so much of stiffness that I can’t even use my neck. I don’t realize this anytime in the day but, especially at night when I go to sleep. I can’t sleep in any position. I’m awake most of the time or especially in the earlier part of the night. In any position, it is uncomfortable, when I sleep on left, I feel this part (right side) is so heavy that it is putting weight on my left part. When I sleep on right side, this (right) part is so heavy that I can’t put more pressure on this part and when I’m on my back, this whole part I feel is dragging me back. When I sleep on my stomach, it suffocates, you can’t sleep whole night on abdomen.
D: “Dragging you back” means?
P: Its so heavy like some weight is attached and it is pulling down.
D: How heavier thing is attached?
P: Like something very solid, like a block of iron is there or a solid rock.
D: Something more about this weight and this block of iron or a solid rock, something more about it, what do you feel about it?
P: This is always present, because of this I’ve stopped my driving. Driving aggravates the pain. So, wherever I go I go walking or by seater. I can’t drive my car because you have to just keep straight like this (shows) and it pulls all the more strain. Sleeping, mostly it is while I go to sleep I mean, I just can’t sleep because any position the pain is not there.
D: You said this current phase is almost as if these have become solid rods that cannot be stretched any more?P: That cannot be stretched any more, that cannot be bent anymore. They are not flexible. Like muscles are flexible, they can move in any direction, you can stretch them. I feel they are not flexible. They are not even muscles any more.
D: Than what are they?
P: They have become something rigid. Stiff and rigid.
D: Just elaborate on this some more. Stiff and rigid. What else comes to mind along with stiff and rigid?
P: Its like they don’t to bend in any direction, they don’t want to be flexible, they don’t want to adjust.
D: Something more?
P: Something which is not flexible.
D: So how is the pain that is not flexible?
P: Constant. Every night I tell my sister to massage me, either with oil or zandu balm or tiger balm, anything which is strong. The stronger it is the better I feel. If one day I don’t have this massage, the next day the pain is just unbearable or the stiffness when I get up in the morning. So it becomes very difficult for me to concentrate then I go for morning walk everyday. I experienced, I don’t have pain when I go for walking especially, fast walking, when I jog I forget that I have pain and one day I miss this then the whole day just gets wasted. One day I don’t the exercises then the stiffness, it increases.
D: So what’s the feeling in the body when you feel this stiffness and rigidity? Can you describe the type of pain, what is the feeling in the body, what’s the sensation?
P: Rigid.
D: So, how? Describe it.
P: Rigid is something which is very solid, it doesn’t get influenced by others or it is not vulnerable to anyone’s impression. This is the noise I get when I try to do this. For that moment I feel better.
D: So, how would be a pain of something that is so solid and rigid. What would you feel?
P: I never concentrate so much on pain. When I sit and read like this, that time I remember this pain. It is what that effect or the weight interferes in my life which is bothering me and not the pain itself. When I am reading any book or something I’ve to keep on adjusting chair’s height. Then concentration gets disturbed. I have that habit of reading at night, so I can’t lie on my abdomen, on mattress, so that mattress gets pushed on, then there is again strain felt, I can’t read because of this.
D: Talk more about this strain. What is the meaning of strain? Illustrate.
P: It doesn’t bother that it is a strain. It is when one can’t cope up with strain, then that starts bothering me.
D: In what way, you can’t cope up. Explain.
P: I have to keep telling my sister that do massage, that means every night, I have to tell her, even if I don’t tell her she comes to me and she says, I’ll massage your back, but I don’t like this, I sort of become dependent on her. Everyday or even before going to bath she massages it with oil, and when I wash myself with hot water, I feel better, but this is sort of dependence. I’ve become dependent on my sister, to have this massage.
D: What does it feel to be dependent on somebody else?
P: No, I don’t like to be dependent on someone else.
D: Talk about this.
P: Being dependent on someone means that you are weak, you are not capable.
D: Weak means?
P: Weak, in the sense weak. Not physically weak but mentally weak. That is opposite of strong.
D: So, what is strong for you?
P: Strong for me is ability to face any situation without compromising anywhere with our principles.
D: Something more about strength, what comes to mind?
P: That’s the ability to face, any sort of situation without anywhere compromising your principles, that means the person has to be very strong. Strength is one part and having principles is another part. Some people just have principles that, I’ve to be good, I’ve to be honest, I don’t have to deceive anyone, I’ve to be moralistic and they don’t have strength to stick to these principles. When the situation arises, they just lose everything, they say, you can’t stick to your principles or you can’t stick to your responsibility and the other thing is strength. So both are important, strength and principle both are important aspects of being strong. Simply having strength doesn’t make the person capable. If he is strong, if he doesn’t have any principles, he is liable to do all sorts of things and if he has only principles, then the weak mind, one or the other day he is going to lose his principles. So both are significant aspects.
D: How would it feel to lose this trend or to start compromising with your principles?
P: No, sir I can’t tell that, I’ve never done and I can’t even imagine, losing principles.
D: Because if you lose that then what will you lose?
P: What is left if a man doesn’t have principles?
D: What is left?
P: Nothing.
D: What is he left with then?
P: Nothing, he is left with nothing.
D: Nothing means?
P: No principles means...
D: Imagine a man who has no principles or who had principles but has had to compromise with those principles.
P: Then the person is not strong. He is not capable, he is not worthy to be in that position. He doesn’t deserve to sit in that position or he doesn’t deserve to be what he is, or whatever he has.
D: Because now he has become?
P: Unprincipled or he has compromised his principles. Compromising with his principles means that there is weakness in his character.
D: How can a person who is strong become weak?
P: He becomes weak if he surrenders himself to a temptation.
D: Talk more about that surrendering yourself to a temptation.
P: Like a man is there in a responsible position and in his life, he faces such a situation that there are two ways, and one way is very hard and principled and the other way is very easy, where there are no principles, where there are lots of temptations and he gives into that temptation of choosing the easy way out and not facing the situation, not shouldering the responsibilities, he is a weak person. He is an unprincipled man.
D: Now going beyond your pain and yourself if you think of something that is really strong, what vision comes to mind, of what ? what sort of thing?
P: Every time, I think of something strong or someone strong, I remember, Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel.
D: So talk about Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel.P: I don’t know much about him, but what we learnt in our history classes that he was a man of iron will power. He declared military action against Hyderabad and were it not for his planning, his courage to take action against all those existing provinces, India would have been scattered. Today India is what because he had that much courage to oppose everyone, and gather India. If he had kept on thinking that, what will President think, what will others think, if he had selfed out, India would not have been what it was or what it is today.
D: So?
P: Even when I think of something strong Swami Vivekananda, even he comes to mind.
D: In what way? Talk about him. Where is the strength in him?
P: I’ve read his history. I have gone through his works, whatever books he has written, all books I’ve .... Everywhere there is strength. He has emphasized so much on willpower and having faith and confidence in oneself. He has said that the strongest thing in this world is the tiny thing called mind or your willpower, so nothing can be stronger than that.
D: Say something more about this, nothing can be more stronger than our own mind.
P: Mind controls everything.
If once we set our mind to do something that I want to do this then we can do this, if our mind itself is weak, if we start having self-doubts, can I do this? Will I be able to do this? What if something arises? What if there are unseen, I mean if there are circumstances which we don’t preplan then our mind is weak. If once we make up our mind that no whatever the situation comes we are going to face it. Obviously it is the mind that exerts control over everything. One can’t do something against his own mind.
D: In what way the mind controls everything? Just elaborate on that some more.
P: Mind or willpower, it controls everything. What you want to do, what you want to achieve is also important and in what way you achieve even that is important. Like Saddam Hussain or Daud, even they have made lots of money, but that is not the way to do that or Suddam Hussain, he has achieved power, but that is not the way to achieve power by snatching someone else’s power or Daud or all these people, they all have got high aims but this is not the way to achieve that, to make your dream come true.
D: So, what is the way to make our dream come true?
P: In the most hard working and principled way.
D: About the strength, this aspect of hardness is also coming up quite frequently in your talk, isn’t it?
P: Yes, sir.
D: What comes to mind, talk about hardness.
P: Hardness is even if some person tells you to do this and in your mind you know that no this is wrong then in that moment you have to be very strong. It is very easy to give out to a temptation and it is very difficult to be strong. In situations of trial it becomes very easy to give to a temptation, but it becomes very difficult to do what your mind says. Hard means you know that this is correct and what the other person is telling you is wrong and then sometimes you feel, “Oh God! What if I’m wrong and he is right?” in that situation you don’t have to have self- doubts or lose confidence and faith in yourself. If you feel it is right then it is right, no matter what the whole world says, it is right and we have to follow that.
D: When you are saying hard, you are doing like this (fist).
P: Yes, sir.
D: Is that the thing that comes to your mind when you talk of hardness?
P: Yes, sir.
D: How tight and how hard, how would you describe it?
P: It is like this. If we keep our fingers like this (apart), each finger trying to fight for its own individuality loses its strength. Once we close the fist, it becomes closed fist. Once we closed these fingers it becomes a closed fist. This is the representative of the strength which we have.
D: This (fist)
P: Yes, sir.
D: The opposite of this would be?
P: Like this (showing the fingers apart). All scattered and trying to fight for its own individuality, not seeing that in their unity the strength lies.
D: Anything more about your physical complaints?
P: I have dysmenorrhoea. I had my menarche at 14 years that was I was in 8 th std. initially I didn’t have any pain or dysmenorrhoea. When I was in 10 th we shifted to Bombay. In Bombay it started but still the intensity was not so much but when I came to Pune since past 5 years, there is dysmenorrhoea. Even for my shoulder pain I’ve never taken any painkillers. Once my father showed me to an orthopaedic surgeon. He said that you have to take traction for some days like 20 or 30 days. Everyday half an hour, one hour, I did not revisit him. Who is going to take traction for 30 days? But whenever there is dysmenorrhoea, I have to take pain- killers. But this January I’ve stopped taking painkillers. We sort of become dependent on painkillers.
D: Any other complaints?
P: Sir, I have tremendous hairfall. This started since I was in 9 th std. before that I had this long hair, and in bulk. Now no one recognizes from backside. I’ve lost so much of hair. Everyday I lose hair in bunches. Bunches in the sense, the whole hair, it comes out in lot. There is lot of dandruff also.
D: Anything else?
P: I have pain in my tibia lower 1/3 both. Maybe that is because I had 3 accidents and maybe after that it could be.
D: Tell us about these accidents.
P: That way I’ve fallen from my vehicle many times, like on cycle and all but this one first one was many years back when we were in Satara. My IX exams were going on and something Gudi Padwa or something was there. We were living on 2 nd floor. My father was taking my sister’s studies. They were sitting near the window. Some small kids, they came to my mummy and said they wanted some leaves. My mummy was cooking or doing pooja or something, I said you cook, I’ll go and get some leaves. So ‘aaloo’(leaves), it grows wherever there is water. I went down and the thing was the constructor who had constructed all those buildings, he was a lousy man. All the construction was imperfect, he had used very bad materials and all and he had kept a drainage system open over there. All these people had kept a stone over that granite, the stone which they use for making kitchen platform. Earlier day itself there was Rangpanchami, so many children had played over there and the moment I stepped on that, it went down and just one year back, a buffalo had gone inside and it had died. It was all filled up with drainage, all dirty water from everyone’s toilet and all. It was like a square, this thing, I don’t know what hit my leg, or whatever thing and I just caught hold of. It was like underground and I started shouting, “ save, save” these two kids they didn’t understand what was happening, they were very small, so they ran back to their home, just above that my father and my sister were sitting. They were studying. My sister realized that something has happened. She just came leaping down, and behind her my father also came. That time my sister was very young, she was in 7 th std. she caught hold of my hand. That was all I needed. Then my father came, he pulled me out. That time may be there was some iron nail or something, it hit me.
D: Where?
P: On tibia itself. This was the first one. Then on 17 th Aug2000, we had gone to a function, so when we were coming back, actually I have not told this to my mummy also, the reason for this accident. On our way to my home, there is MIT college, there I saw some students smoking and all, just young boys, my sister was sitting behind me. I said, “see these boys’ age and they are smoking, they have no principles or what their parents teach them or do their parents know, what their children are doing” and in that a bull or something came in between and, I couldn’t go forward, I applied brakes but since my sister was sitting, I mean she could jump she wasnot hurt, but I was dragged along with the vehicle and my left leg was trapped in between. This was also during my exams .My third exam just 15 days after 15 days we were going to have our prelims. The third one was in Dec. 2002, morning, I have a clinic in -------- Sai Mandir Trust is there Morning 8:30, 31 st dec. I was going and there was a turn .I was very slow. I drive very carefully, I am not rash .I don’t go beyond my speed- limits. I mean, I don’t even when Sheetal sits behind me, she says you are driving as if this is some cycle or bullock cart. That slow I am I don’t take any risks. Someone had poured oil or petrol, I don’t know what? I just slipped over that .Thank God I was wearing helmet .I felt with such great impact that my lip was torn in that , again on left side I fell. Last one was on 1 st of May 2003.Again I was going to Mandir and one junior girl was sitting behind me, she was just on one side.That parking space of that Mandir is very small and congested and some rich man who was driving a golden colored ESTEEM all locked up because he had an A/c .Even his mirrors were closed , he didn’t see what is behind , I was trying to go forward , I couldn’t move back because there was a wall .I was horning , I was shouting he just didn’t realize anything , he just pushed back , he put a reserve gear and because I was at slope he pushed back .My leg got trapped between the esteem .Something I don’t remember. My leg was trapped between my scoots platform and esteem bumper. Not only that he is still pushing then some people in front of that came running and said “Stop you have caused an accident “ and then he came out he stopped but my leg got trapped in between
D: So, what was the impact?
P: My scooty was there, I couldn’t go front, that was impossible .The girl who was sitting she was trying to pull me back. This person without seeing where he is going he is putting reserve gear, he is pushing even the accerlerator, he didn’t see what is there behind ,I am shouting , I am horning the people they were a bit far away they came running and this person is lost is his own world .He just pushed back , My right leg got trapped in between the esteem bumber.
D: So, was it a very big bad injury?
P: Yes sir, 9 months I could not do anything.
D: What type of injury was it?
P: All sensory nerves were destroyed. That point I had no pain but the muscles beside it, were crushed, when I showed it to S. Mam she said that now you take all care that it doesn’t go to osteomyelitis because it was close to tibia but thank God there wasn’t any fracture but there was muscle injury , crushed injury . I have a big scar on my right leg.
D: Is it quite ------------
P: Yes sir
D: Tell me your dreams
P: I get quite a lot dreams. Actually my sleep is also not quite sound. Right from when I was a child any slightest noise , I would wake up .Dreams many , I have one prominent dream which I remember is like there is a fan rotating at its top speed. My sister and my mother are standing besides me. My Mummy is telling stop it. It is too fast .All the vessels and utensils and all the steel items which were kept besides it they are getting bloom away because of that fan and then I stopped the button, still the fan didn’t stop, I cut off the electricity still the fan didn’t stop. All vessels and all they started getting blown away. I just took my mother and my sister by my right hand and I told them you stand behind me you wont get hurt in this way you wont be blown away.
P: there is one more dream. This is what I got after my father expired. We are all walking on a long road, it was very long and there was no end to this road and I realized that my father is walking is walking front of me .My sister is there besides me or a few steps behind and behind me all my family is there all my uncles .I have a huge family .All my uncles aunties their children , my cousins, everyone, my mother and all. I just look back and I saw that one of my cousins, when he was small, he couldn’t walk. He was a premature baby and he had lot of developmental problems. Now he is OK. In fact he has excelled. He is far ahead than his peers. So, I felt that he is still a child and he is lagging behind. He is limping. No one is taking care of him or no one is accompanying him. So I pick him up and my sister was there with me. First I tried to make him walk, he couldn’t do that. He was very weak, physically weak. He was just like sort of dragging himself. So, I said fine, I’ll pick you up for sometime and I picked up and saw that now I am behind. I mean all have just progressed and I am the one who is left behind and again after sometime I realize that No! I am the one who is leading and again all people are behind, even though I am carrying that person, I’m leading them.
D: And you are still carrying him?
P: Carrying or maybe he is accompanying me. I get many dreams like exams are there and I’ve to prepare so much. I’ve to do so much. Tomorrow we have exams and today I’m still studying and studying or sometimes I feel that I’ve missed one whole day like yesterday was Chemistry paper and somehow I just lost whole that day. Now I feel, what am I going to do this is XII. After my father expired, I kept, I even still dream that he is still there as if he is not dead or sometimes I feel that some doctor has told me that your father has just 1hour or 1day. I feel helpless that I can’t do anything now. I have also dreamt once or twice, that I was telling my father see the car is in good condition. I’ve taken well care of that. There was one dream which I dreamt in childhood, my sister is drowning in water. Actually it a valley and I am standing on steep rocks. Precariously I am balancing on a very pointed rock. There is nothing to hold on and my sister is in water, so I’m trying to pull her out. After that dream I was so anxious that I never let my sister go anywhere near water or even out of my site.
D: How old were you when your father expired?
P: Just 1 year, 10 months back.
D: What was the impact his death had on you? Had it changed anything for you?
P: Yes sir, it changed the entire course of life.

D: In what way?
P: Sir, I didn’t expect anything of this sort. For so many years I had been worrying about his health. Taking care of new details meticulously. I mean even if they had one extra tablet of iron, like he was prescribed. He was showing to some physician. Once you show to a physician, they give you everything, iron tablets, vitamins, B-complex, everything. So I mean I would think of such smaller details that what if he gets overdose of this iron and vitamins. Suddenly this was something which I never, I had never foreseen this. Anything of this sort happen. I used to worry myself that he is alone in Satara, there is no one to cook for him. He is away from his family. There is so much of responsibility and work load on him. How would he be coping with this and everyday, I had praying God, that please, let him get transferred back to Pune.
D: What was his profession?
P: he was an executive in the United Western Bank. They have On-line Executive officers, he was one of them. He was the head of Planning and Marketing Department. Especially these last 3-4 years he was staying alone. So I was quite tensed up about this. For me and my sister’s education and career, he said that it is best if we settle in Pune. He was in a bank and very often they get transferred and already he felt that I have dragged you everywhere from Bangalore, Belgaum, Satara, Mumbai,Pune. Now you have reached a stage that you can’t afford to compromise anywhere with your career or education. There were still 9 years to go for his retirement. He said, “OK I’ll stay in Satara, you stay in Pune” especially it was for my sister. Anyways I was staying in hostel, so it did not make much difference for me. But since my sister, she was doing C.S. so he said it’s better if we settle in Pune itself.
D: So who all are there now?
P: Myself, my sister and my mother. Three of us.
D: Tell about your relationships in life.
P: The most perfect relationship in my life is with my sister. There is nothing imperfect or anything more to be desired in our relationship.
D: Tell me more about your relationship with your sister.
P: We both are everything to each other. Right from childhood I have taken responsibility of my sister. Means very young. I was 21/2 years old when she was born. I used to always take care of her. Take her to school, get her back. If she was ill I would be very anxious. If my parents had to go anywhere out, to party or someone’s house, they would leave under my care they would be completely relaxed that No, when Swati is there with her nothing will happen to her. She is very mischievious and sort of opposite of me. Not exactly opposite, in many respects she is similar to me, like in principles and strength and all, but she is bit different from me and the only thing, in childhood she was not studious, means she was not studying. My father concentrated all his hopes on me, when it came to winning drawing competition orscholarships or getting 1 st rank. He never bothered with her and that used to bother me that he should take her career also seriously. The way she was studying, I totally disapproved of that. She was physically a bit weak, very thin, almost like a waif, would’nt eat anything, choosy like.
D: Like a ....?
P: Waif. Very thin and short-stature. Waif, very thin. Morning I used to take her on my cycle. She didn’t have any physical exertion. She was not in sports and all and after coming home she used to go to sleep and when my father used to come home, something like 8:30 or 9:00 O’clock, he used to play with her something they would do and she would go to sleep again, so no studies. When exams would come near, he would take her. He would beat her, at that time he would be very strict with her and tell her that you by-heart them. He used to just spoon-feed her. This is what I said no, this is not the way to study. This continued till 7 th std. So what marks she was getting, she was drifting, no ambition, nothing. Not focused on studies. She is very clever. She is cleverer than me. Once she reads, she remembers everything, she doesn’t have to keep on reading it, but she was not utilizing her potential. So, when we shifted to Mumbai, I was in X. No, even before that when I was in IX, we were in Satara, so I told my father, you stop taking her studies. First thing is you have to plan it very well, you have to see that whole year she studies that is what studies means. You don’t have to study just some answers to get good marks. So, I’ll take care of her studies and so after that he left. So, the way I used to take her studies was entirely different. I used to tell her you read the lesson. You take the dictionary find out the meanings of the words which is difficult. Then I used to teach her. I used to tell her you find the answers of these questions and if you go anywhere wrong I’ll tell you. I never spoon-fed her, I wanted her to realize that you don’t study just to get good marks, you have to study to get that knowledge. Even after your exams are over, maybe after 5 years, if you remember the lesson, if you remember the story, if you remember the main theme behind that, that is that is what real study is, not like sitting 20 hours before exams or 15 days, pit patting everything. This is not the way. This is the only thing otherwise whatever I say is true for her. I mean sort of, she hero-worships me. Whatever I do is right. Whatever I say is correct, whatever I behave is proper and if anyone criticizes me or anyone says anything to me, she just flies into temper and she goes and fights with that person. She can’t tolerate anyone criticizing me or scolding me. She doesn’t even listen to my mother but whenever I tell her anything, she readily listens. Even if she doesn’t like that, she protests but I know, I have faith in her, that if I tell her to do something even against her wishes, because she has faith in me she will do it or out of respect for me but she will do it. I can guarantee that. My mother, she is totally opposite of what my father was. My father was a top very career minded, executive, sophisticated and exactly opposite is my mother. May be because of that my father chose her. She was educated, just a graduate. She was not ambitious, she was not career oriented, just a proper, model house-wife. Indian housewife. I remember, my father used to keep on saying that, you don’t marry a career woman, if you want to have career children. I mean, a woman who keeps on thinking about her own career, what will she look after her children or husband, so he said that I have married your mother because I knew, she would look after you, she would look after meand she would place your career and my career at the topmost priority. That is what my mother has done. It’s because she has sacrificed so much that myself and my sister and even my father he could reach to a top position. Like there were so many functions, she was never allowed to attend because either my exams would be there or something of his conference or even if there were no exams, I would say, no I’m not going to miss my lectures, I’m not going to miss my school. So, she would hardly get any vacation or she would hardly go to her mother’s place. For other people she is timid, shy. She doesn’t talk to anyone. She even doesn’t scold me also. Whatever I do she says do. I mean, you do according to... she never opposes me, or resists me, but I must say that she is very strong and principled. Its like my father gave me ambitions but my mother gave me the strength.
D: Can you visualize something in life which exists, which is strong and then it just loses its strength. So what comes to your mind when you think of this phenomenon?
P: Two persons or two incidences. One was with my father and the other thing was with my grandfather, my father’s father. Same incidences hit them very badly and it has affected me also a lot. My father had 4 younger brothers, 1 elder brother and 1 younger sister, so huge family. My grandfather was a very principled man and very strong. He was also in a bank. He had studied just X std. he was also an Executive in Maharashtra Bank, but his elder son, my grandfather had built all his hopes on his elder son, he was an engineer. In fact others did not get so much privileges which the elder son got. But the elder son after.... My grandfather had pinned hopes that he’ll get some work, he’ll get some job and he will look after his younger brothers, and marry off his sister. He’ll shoulder all the responsibilities that an elder son’s marriage, he just left the house, he took all the money. He literally swallowed all the money and he left. He did not shoulder any of his responsibilities. It was like, it was betrayal. My grandfather had placed so much of faith and hopes in his elder son, that it was a big shock for him that how could my upbringing be so bad that my son has left me. It was more like that he has not shouldered his responsibility that was the major impact on him not that my son has left me. My fault. My grandfather was not so emotional. What was that how could my upbringing be so faulty? Where did I go wrong in my principles?
He had shouldered all his responsibilities inspite of having such a big family.he had shouldered all his responsibilities then how could he do that? That is what I hate. I hate my elder uncle because he was basically a very weak person and he left the house under the influence of his wife. His wife said that if you keep on thinking of your younger brothers and sisters, you are not going to progress in your life. No one, none of the brothers had any income. All were studying. One was in engineering, one was doing CA. one was just in std X. So there was a huge responsibility. He like a fool, just ran away from the responsibility. My father was doing MSc.at that time. He wanted to become a scientist. He was majoring in Nuclear Physics. Sometimes, when he was in real vulnerable mood, he said that if his elder brother had shouldered his responsibilities, he would have become a scientist, but he stopped studying that and he got a job in Military college as a professor of Physics and Mathematics. He enjoyedteaching, but on a teaching job you can’t look after a huge family. Then he gave this written examination and interview for bank. He got it, but this was not something which he really wanted or enjoyed. He wanted to be a scientist or he wanted to be a teacher. Teaching was a passion. He would always say that once I get retired, I’m going to teach students, I’m going to open my own classes. But because of his elder brother....Its not that my father hated responsibility or something, in fact he did miraculously. He got his brothers educated and not only that he got them married off. He got his sister married off to a good and wealthy family. I hate my uncle not because of that my father had to suffer so much, but I hate him because he is such a weak fool, who doesn’t have a mind of his own and who runs after his wife. When one is in a responsible position, he has to at times ignore his personal interests or personal desires. Otherwise he is not deserving to sit in that position. And worse the situation is now my father is not there, now my grandfather is not there, now he wants to enter back into the family, he wants to have the elder son’s position and my uncle and all, all this happened 30 years back, my uncle is telling, no Swati, you were not even born at that time, why do you keep this in your mind. You should forgive him. I said, “how can you forgive him? He is not coming into the family because he wants to take your responsibility or act like a loving brother. It is because being an elder brother gives a position. Like ours is a very big family and a well known family in Belgaum, so being a head of the family means it is of something like social prestige. You get power but if you don’t have responsibilities what is the meaning of power. My father used to say that responsibility and power go hand in hand. Without shouldering your responsibilities, you become a ...., people don’t respect you.
D: Become a?
P: Become a .... Like it’s what these politicians do, they just want that chair, power, no responsibility. This is meaningless. If only you shoulder your responsibility or take your responsibility that your power or your strength has some meaning. Now all brothers are in favour that no we should forgive him, we should let him back. I said,” no way. It’s not going to be like that” I am not going to forgive him. No weak person, who doesn’t have a mind of his own, deserves to be forgiven.
Because of that I told them that I have decided to settle in Pune. We are not going back, because going back means accepting his authority. He will keep on interfering in life and act as though he cares for us which is what I don’t want. I like to be straightforward. So I told them after my father expired that we are going to sell off the house, which we have in Satara and I’m going to buy a new home and whatever happens I’m not coming back to Karnataka.
D: What would it mean to you to subject to his authority, if you had to?
P: Why sir? Why should I subject to his authority. Everyone says that he is elder one, he is the eldest in the family now, so we should respect him.
D: What would it mean to you, if you had to do that?
P: No sir, I’ll not do that, I can’t accept his authority. We can’t accept anybody’s authority just because they are born a few years earlier than you. To become elder you have to grow in that way, you have to shoulder responsibilities that too with strength and with principles. If we have to just respect elders and if age criteria was the only thing that gave access to power and authority then all beggars, they all are old men, we should respect them also and go and put them on throne and power. It’s not that their age or seniority makes them authoritative. It’s what they do. It’s their work and their responsibility.
D: Ok. This is helpful but again this is restricting ourselves again to people and individuals and incidences. Now go beyond that and think of substance, which is strong and if circumstances are unfavourablecan lose its strength. What vision of such a substance comes to you? Think a little.
P: I should say a very solid rock. It is present from so many centuries.
D: Talk about it some more.
P: That is solid and that is strong but there are limitations to its strength also. Like when river comes in force, it doesn’t dissolve like mud in that river it again gets dislodged somewhere and again it goes back to its state of being. But a rock is rock. It gets clipped off it gets broken but it doesn’t bend or doesn’t dissolve itself in the river. That a rock, even if you cut it into many pieces it still remains a rock, that is that solid. It’s solidity remains till its minutest particle. A rock is a rock even if it is of this size( showing big) and even if it is of minute size still it is a rock. Even an iron or gold or any metal if we use them, iron gets rusted, even gold loses its luster.
D: Now talk about this vision of this solid rock, which is present since many centuries, very strong, now this fast flowing river hitting against it. What will happen supposing there is a solid rock what will happen?
P: Rock is something which is extremely solid, it is also inflexible. It is not elastic and it cannot adjust. It is adamant sort of like, it is lodged in this position it is just not adjustable like river. River, you know it finds its way. I feel that river has no principles, if a rock comes it will go, if there is a tunnel it will go like this (from below) its aim is just move ahead. A river is never straight. I like things which are straight or straightforward. A rock knows that like this river is going to come and if it dislodges itself from its position may be it will have a chance of survival. It may get lodged somewhere else, but why should it do that way. It should stand wherever it is. It might get broken off. It might get broken off into pieces but still it won’t lose its identity wherever it is because it is still going to be a rock.
D: Something about that strong thing then broken into pieces. What will happen? How will it be broken into pieces?
P: Its not actually broken into pieces. They say that “mein cut sakta hoon lekien jukh nahi sakta” (I can get cut but I can’t bend) it doesn’t acceptthe authority of the river. It doesn’t get impression like a mud. Like a block of mud is there and even if you poke a finger into that, you leave an impression over that. But a rock is something even if you put a hammer on that, it will get broken into pieces. It will destroy itself but it won’t give in to others influence or impression. It won’t let other impress it or put an influence on itself.
FOLLOW UP: AFTER 1 MONTH
D: How are you?
P: I am feeling better. Pains reduced by 60 percent. Not a single episode of headache. Sore throat < sweetmeat, though did not proceed into fever. Burning soles for many years reduced after the dose. Constipation is less. Menses delayed by 10 days. Can sleep more comfortably now, pain doesn’t bother much.
Dreams : - Prime minister of India was murdered by terrorists and I’m running for P.M. seat. - Some doctor says when the petrol in the bike gets over, your father will die – I am howling and pleading – this is contrary to how I am – I was telling my father to fight for his life, not to obey someone else’s will – afraid to go to sleep next night... kept on reading Vivekananda’s book – we must have strength to voice our own opinion.
- Searching for a place for clinic in Shaniwarwada which is a historical, tourist place, used by Peshwas. People have not realized the true value of such places.
- Uno to Maruti, felt Santro is so light, its of no use – I can just lift it and throw it away. Uno is strong and sturdy. Maruti is very vulnerable in case of an accident.
- Indifference towards 2 friends – we had broken up - felt better after that.
- Wanted to finish an incomplete project.
- After father’s death there was a feeling of immobilization, just can’t move, after dose, dreamt someone is standing at the foot of the bed watching me, no “cog wheel rigidity” could take off the covers.
- I am standing on top of a hill, it is very steep on a sharp rock, deep valley, if I make a wrong move I will fall – so feeling that this is not the right time to move – let me wait till I stabilize then move up – mentally after dose I feel much better.
I don’t land up in arguments to prove others wrong.
Now I feel it is not important to convince everyone – this used to affect my relationships in the past. Earlier it used to be a helpless urge to prove myself in any topic – now it is not important what others think about me. I prefer things of utility and durability.
FOLLOW – UP AFTER 6 MONTHS:
P: I feel much more solid and stable than before. There have been no throat infections. No neck pains. Emotionally I feel alright.
FOLLOW – UP AFTER 1 YEAR:
D: How are you doing?P: I am fine. Past year was a very hectic schedule. I had to pull myself to work – no other way,you have to do it.
No emotions – not feeling anything since 1 year. I noticed it on my sister’s engagement. So apathetic.
D: What else?
P: The psychiatrist I work for is shouting all the time – she has mood swings. It is a very tensed environment. I don’t know what to expect, she is very unstable. Very degrading and demeaning – but I like this work. But I find her very unreasonable. She was questioning my integrity. I like working with addicts. But she should stick to her words. Sometimes she says we must be strict with her patients. Sometimes she says we must be compassionate.
D: What dreams did you see?
P: My mother (who is sober) is wearing a sleeveless blouse – I am angry and shouting at her. I feel emotions are very unreliable, so I have developed myself not to rely on them – I don’t let them influence my intellect.
I got engaged last month and my marriage is after 4 months, even then I am not feeling anything. Shoulders get tensed only on days of staff meetings with boss. PLAN: A dose of 1M was repeated.
Our patient got married and is now settled in some other city. During a recent telephonic conversation she reported us to be doing fine. She is now in the 7 th month of her pregnancy and there has been no neck pain. She gets cold and coughs sometimes which get better on their own. Emotionally she is stable. Dreams nil.

UNDERSTANDING OF THE CASE:
This is clearly a mineral case. The chief complaint i.e. the neck pain is disturbing her concentration which affects her. The strain in the neck bothers her because it makes her dependent on others which means being weak, not capable. Dysmenorrhoea incapacitates her.This is what she is not able to cope. It is very important for her to be strong, principled and in control of the situation.
SOURCE WORDS IN THE CASE:
- Sharp
- Heavy
- Not flexible
- Solid
- Tensed
- Stiff
- Solid rods
- Dragging me back
- Weight- Block of iron
- Solid rock
- Rigid: something that is very solid, not easily influenced or vulnerable to anyone’s impression.
- Cracking sounds
- Dependent: means weak, not capable
- Strong: is ability to face any situations without compromising any of our principles. Opposite is weakness in ones character.
- Strength and principles should exist together.
- Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel: Man of Iron will power. - Scattered
- Hard & strong like a tight fist. An open hand is weak, scattered. In unity the strength lies.
- A solid rock present since many centuries but it has its limitations – when a fast flowing river keeps hitting against it. A river has no principles, it compromises. But a rock will stand firm till it is broken into pieces, it will yet retain its original identity. “ it can get cut but it can’t bend.” It may be cut to pieces but it will not let others impression influence it. The patient needs a substance that will have all the above qualities. Our searched lead us to “GRANITE”.
Granite
Quarrying granite for the Mormon Temple, Utah Territory. The ground is strewn with boulders and detached masses of granite, which have fallen from the walls of Little Cottonwood Canyon. The quarrying consists of splitting up the blocks.
Granite is a common and widely occurring type of intrusive, felsic, igneous rock. Granites are usually a white, black or buff colour and are medium to coarse grained, occasionally with some individual crystals larger than the groundmass forming a rock known as porphyry. Granites can be pink to dark gray or even black, depending on their chemistry and mineralogy.
Outcrops of granite tend to form tors, rounded massifs, and terrains of rounded boulders cropping out of flat, sandy soils. Granites sometimes occur in circular depressions surrounded by a range of hills, formed by the metamorphic aureole or hornfels. Granite is nearly always massive, hard and tough, and it is for this reason it has gained widespread use as a construction stone.
The average density of granite is 2.75 g·cm −3 with a range of 1.74 g·cm −3 to 2.80 g·cm −3 . The word granite comes from the Latin granum, a grain, in reference to the coarse-grained structure of such a crystalline rock.
Mineralogy
Figure 1. QAPF diagram of granitoids and phaneritic foidolites (plutonic rocks).Granite primarily consists of orthoclase and plagioclase feldspars, quartz, hornblende, muscovite and/or biotite micas, and minor accessory minerals such as magnetite, garnet, zircon and apatite. Rarely, apyroxene is present. Very rarely, iron-rich olivine, fayalite, occurs. Granite is classified according to the QAPF diagram for coarse grained plutonic rocks (granitoids) and is named according to the percentage of quartz, alkali feldspar (orthoclase, sanidine, or microcline) and plagioclase feldspar on the A-Q-P half of the diagram. Granite-like rocks which are silica-undersaturated may have a feldspathoid such as nepheline, and are classified on the A-F-P half of the diagram (Figure 1).
True granite according to modern petrologic convention contains both plagioclase and alkali feldspars. When a granitoid is devoid or nearly devoid of plagioclase the rock is referred to as alkali granite. When a granitoid contains < 10% orthoclase it is called tonalite; pyroxene and amphibole are common in tonalite. A granite containing both muscovite and biotite micas is called a binary or two-mica granite. Two-mica granites are typically high in potassium and low in plagioclase, and are usually S- type granites or A-type granites. The volcanic equivalent of plutonic granite is rhyolite.
Chemical Composition
A worldwide average of the average proportion of the different chemical components in granites, in descending order by weight percent, is : [1] :
• SiO 2 — 72.04%
• Al 2 O 3 — 14.42%
• K 2 O — 4.12%
• Na 2 O — 3.69%
• CaO — 1.82%
• FeO — 1.68%
• Fe 2 O 3 — 1.22%
• MgO — 0.71%
• TiO 2 — 0.30%
• P 2 O 5 — 0.12%
• MnO — 0.05%
• Based on 2485 analyses
Occurrence
The Stawamus Chief is a granite monolith in British ColumbiaGranite is currently known only on Earth where it forms a major part of continental crust.
Granite occurs as relatively small, less than 100 km2 stock-like masses and as large batholiths often associated withorogenic mountain ranges and is frequently of great extent. Small dikes of granitic composition called aplites are associated with granite margins. In some locations very coarse-grained pegmatite masses occur with granite. Granite has been intruded into the crust of the Earth during all geologic periods; much of it is of Precambrian age. Granite is widely distributed throughout the continental crust of the Earth and is the most abundant basement rock that underlies the relatively thin sedimentary veneer of the continents.
Despite being fairly common throughout the world, the areas with the most commercial granite quarries are located in the Scandinavian Peninsula (mostly in Finland and Norway), Spain (mostly Galicia andAsturias), Brazil, India and several countries in the South end of the African continent, namely Angola, Namibia, Zimbabwe and South Africa.
Origin
Granite is an igneous rock and is formed from magma. Granite magma has many potential origins but it must intrude other rocks. Most granite intrusions are emplaced at depth within the crust, usually greater than 1.5 km and up to 50 km depth within thick continental crust. The origin of granite is contentious and has led to varied schemes of classification. Classification schemes are regional; there is a French scheme, a British scheme and an American scheme. This confusion arises because the classification schemes define granite by different means. Generally the 'alphabet-soup' classification is used because it classifies based on genesis or origin of the magma.
Geochemical origins
Granitoids are a ubiquitous component of the crust. They have crystallized from magmas that have compositions at or near a eutectic point (or a temperature minimum on a cotectic curve). Magmas will evolve to the eutectic because of igneous differentiation, or because they represent low degrees of partial melting. Fractional crystallisation serves to reduce a melt in iron, magnesium, titanium, calcium and sodium, and enrich the melt in potassium and silicon
- alkali feldspar (rich in potassium) and quartz (SiO 2 ), are two of the defining constituents of granite.
This process operates regardless of the origin of the parental magma to the granite, and regardless of its chemistry. However, the composition and origin of the magma which differentiates into granite, leaves certain geochemical and mineralogical evidence as to what the granite's parental rock was. The final mineralogy, texture and chemical composition of a granite is often distinctive as to its origin.
For instance, a granite which is formed from melted sediments may have more alkali feldspar, whereas a granite derived from melted basalt may be richer in plagioclase feldspar. It is on this basis that the modern ""alphabet"" classification schemes are based. Alphabet Soup ClassificationThe 'alphabet soup' scheme of Chappell & White was proposed initially to divide granites into I- type granite (or igneous protolith) granite and S-type or sedimentary protolith granite. Both of these types of granite are formed by melting of high grade metamorphic rocks, either other granite or intrusive mafic rocks, or buried sediment, respectively. M-type or mantle derived granite was proposed later, to cover those granites which were clearly sourced from crystallised mafic magmas, generally sourced from the mantle. These are rare, because it is difficult to turn basalt into granite via fractional crystallisation. A-type or anorogenic granites are formed above volcanic ""hot spot"" activity and have peculiar mineralogy and geochemistry. These granites are formed by melting of the lower crust under conditions that are usually extremely dry. The granite caldera of Yellowstone National Park is an example of an A-type granite.
Granitization
The granitization theory states that granite is formed in place by extreme metamorphism. The production of granite by metamorphic heat is difficult, but is observed to occur in certain amphibolite andgranulite terrains. In-situ granitisation or melting by metamorphism is difficult to recognise except where leucosome and melanosome textures are present in gneisses. Once a metamorphic rock is melted it is no longer a metamorphic rock and is a magma, so these rocks are seen as a transitional between the two, but are not technically granite as they do not actually intrude into other rocks. In all cases, melting of solid rock requires high temperature, and also water or volatiles which act as a catalyst by lowering the solidus temperature of the rock.
Emplacement mechanisms
The problem of emplacing large volumes of molten rock within the solid Earth has faced geologists for over a century, and is not entirely resolved. Granite magma must make room for itself or be intruded into other rocks in order to form an intrusion, and several mechanisms have been proposed to explain how large batholiths have been emplaced.
• Stoping, where the granite cracks the wall rocks and pushes upwards as it removes blocks of the overlying crust
• Diapirism where the density of the lighter granite causes relative buoyancy and the granite pushes upwards, warping and folding the rock above it
• Assimilation, where the granite melts its way up into the crust and removes overlying material in this way
• Inflation, where the granite body inflates under pressure and is injected into position Most geologists today accept that a combination of these phenomena can be used to explain granite intrusions, and that not all granites can be explained by one or another mechanism.
USES
Antiquity
The Red Pyramid of Egypt (c.26th century BC), named for the light crimson hue of its exposed granite surfaces, is the third largest of Egyptian pyramids. Menkaure's Pyramid, likely dating tothe same era, was constructed of limestone and granite blocks. The Great Pyramid of Giza (c. 2580 BC) contains a huge granite sarcophagus fashioned of ""Red Aswan Granite."" The mostly ruined Black Pyramid dating from the reign of Amenemhat III once had a polished granite pyramidion or capstone, now on display in the main hall of the Egyptian Museum in Cairo (see Dahshur). Other uses in Ancient Egypt, [1]include columns, door lintels, sills, jambs, and wall and floor veneer. How the Egyptians worked the solid granite is still a matter of debate. Dr. Patrick Hunt [2] has postulated that the Egyptians used emery shown to have higher hardness on the Mohs scale. Many large Hindu temples in southern India, particularly those built by the 11th century king Rajaraja Chola I, were made of granite. In fact, the amount of granite in them is comparable to the Great Pyramid of Giza. [3]
Modern
Granite has been extensively used as a dimension stone and as flooring tiles in public and commercial buildings and monuments. With increasing amounts of acid rain in parts of the world, granite has begun to supplant marble as a monument material, since it is much more durable. Polished granite has been a popular choice for kitchen countertops due to its high durability and aesthetic qualities.
Engineers have traditionally used polished granite surfaces to establish a plane of reference, since they are relatively impervious and inflexible.
In the world of sports, curling rocks are traditionally fashioned of granite.
Sandblasted concrete with a heavy aggregate content has an appearance similar to rough granite, and is often used as a substitute when use of real granite is impractical.
Azul Noce (Spain)
Giallo Veneziano (Brazil)
Gran Violet (Brazil)
Lavanda Blue (Brazil)

The Provings of Granite, Marble and Limestone by Nuala Eising and The Burren School of Homeopathy Reviewed by Karl Robinson, M.D.
The proving of granite begins with two dreams:
In the first dream Eising finds herself looking at a picture of Connemara which is grey and bleak. The picture is captioned, "CONNEMARA IS THE DAY AFTER." Then follows five more pictures, each of a Connemara person, each in a wooden frame, each with a different caption:
Number one reads: "Connemara People Are Introverted."
Number two reads: "Connemara People Are Incestuous."
Number three reads: "Connemara People Are More Prone to Cancer than Anywhere Else in the Country."
Number four reads: "Connemara People Have More Downs Syndrome Children than Anywhere Else in the Country."
And number five: "Connemara People Are Taller on Average than Anywhere Else in the Country- They Have In Fact Grown Like Cancer."
The dreams ended with a question and answer in writing.
"Question: What have Connemara people got in common?
Answer: Granite."
In the second dream Eising is looking at a white dot in the sky which she intuits is homeopathic Granite. "As I look at the dot, it explodes, becoming a piece of beautiful white lace. Slowly, it moves through the atmosphere, changing shape as it moves. It takes on the shape of butterflies and birds, always remaining as white lace. When it has moved through the whole atmosphere, it drops to the ground in front of me. I look down-it is a white dove dead because it has cleared the atmosphere of radioactivity."
Eising learned from a geologist friend that Connemara granite has one of the highest levels of radioactivity of the granites found in Britain and Ireland. She also learned the area has a higher level of cancer and Downs Syndrome than the rest of Ireland. "Granite in Ireland is considered responsible for 35% of cancer in the country," she writes. Connemara people are known for their introversion; there is a lot of inbreeding and, she opines, "It is my impression that Connemara people are certainly big."
There were 15 provers, eight women and seven men ranging from 20 to 40 years of age. The following symptoms occurred in 12 of 15 provers:
• Apathy
• Weakness
• Aversion to company
• Introversion
• Diminished or lost sexual desire
Eleven of fifteen had the following:
• Detached feeling
• Headache: frontal pressure
Ten of fifteen experienced:
• Heavy feeling
• Irritability
Other prominent symptoms were:
•Fever with heat
• Unrefreshed after deep sleep
• Loss of appetite
• Itchy scalp
• Diarrhea
• Sweet craving
• Alcohol ameliorates
• Poor memory
• Vague feelings that something bad would happen
Five provers, all men, got influenza.
The above symptoms occurred in an improbably high number of provers. There were many less frequently occurring ones. But, of course, all this occurred in Ireland where the improbable is probably likely, even commonplace.
It gets better.
SYNOPTIC MATERIA MEDICA II BY DR FRANS VERMEULEN:
LEADING SYMPTOMS:
MENTALS – profound introversion and withdrawal from everything and everyone & weakness. Introversion with arrogance; a self-importance with a feeling or belief that others are trivial or petty. Indifference to everything and everyone except to their own being and feelings. No difficulty in being blunt or rude; they felt o care for the hurt they might be inflicting to others. Detached from everyone – like an outside observer.
After taking a sniff of Granite 200, Folias noted the following symptoms:
“within a week of this time I fell into a strange depression. I say strange because it was completely different than the type I exhibit. Usually I lose confidence, feel weak and hopeless and withdraw from contact with others; in short a rather normal type of depressed state. The other state was very black but at the same time there was a strong element of egotism and misanthropy, very similar to what I have observed in Sulphur patients at times. This I feel was much darker though. I felt powerful and completely sef-contained within the darkness. There was anger towards others; a sort of scathing wrath. I felt nothing for anyone except anger and ill will. I didn’t care to withdraw nor did I care for company. There was a definite sense of superiority in my approach to others. Very easily irritated, quick to express anger with the feeling that I was right; a justifiable anger. I didn’t hit anyone but felt it wouldn’t worry me if I did.” ( Greig Folias, An inadvertent proving of Granite, Homeopathic Links 2/93)
- Aversion to company, to socializing, enjoying instead their own company. But; occasional desire for company of one close friend, where no social effort is necessary, a desire just to be one with someone without having to talk or care.
- Quarrelsome, attracting arguments and fights.
- Sudden fear and panic attacks, without apparent cause, and disappearing as suddenly. “ with restlessness, have to keep moving, looking for distraction, trembling and sweating.”

GENERALS:
- Weakness and occasional bursts of energy ( which could not last for long).
- The fist word that virtually all provers used was weakness. The weakness of Granite was at times a profound exhaustion – ‘ unable to move’, ‘ scraping oneself out of bed’, ‘dragging oneself around the place’, ‘have to lie down’. At other times they experienced general weakness with no inclination to do anything, which at times felt pleasurable and ‘ laid back’.”
- Active at night, with high energy.
- < cold; even when hot.
- Profuse sweating.
- Appetite lost.
- Craving for sweets.
- > alcoholic drinks.
- Refreshed after bad o broken sleep. Unrefreshed after a deep sleep.
- Sexual urge diminished or lost.
- > lying down.
PHYSICALS:
- pressing pain in forehead & heat ; burning in eyes. - Pressure and popping in ears.
- Lower back. “ at the same time my lower back went out. Completely out, locked up tight. It was extremely painful. It was stiff and tight all the time and at first I was forced to walk bent over though it didn’t relieve the pain. > hot shower, lying on something hard, lying on back, walking slowly about; < jarring, twisting exertion, in bed at night ( unless lying on back).”
- Red patches of dry skin, intensely itching and burning

D: Talk about growth process.
P: I have this pull within me, I don’t know what it will involve? There is fear of unknown. I have to go and start the practice and help. I am really confused (weeping) and then other part of me is wanting me to be a woman and have children. This is what God wants from me. My fiancé, is he the right person? He is 7 yrs older than I am, so he has relatively gone through certain experiences that I think are necessary. Now I feel, in most part I have also, so I am ready to settle down to a certain extent. It’s also difficult when people that I know really love me and care for me, they see like a certain future for me or whatever. I don’t know what that future exactly is but then..... although this has never been bluntly said to me, in so many words, husbands are like, once you marry him, you are back home, you are on a totally different path and that’s not really what we had always seen for you. So, it is a kind of expectation thing.

D: What path have they seen for you?
P: My dad has always done things extravagant. They have seen big ideas for me. So, I think, there are certain expectations to live up to. Certain monetary, financial expectations which they say, is not important in life, yet I see that dichotomy.

D: Talk about this aspect.
P: It’s funny because I don’t cry in front of everybody. Something in me that really wants to help people. My cousin in her 40s almost died of bulimia – we have very similar reactions. I like to be active. I feel best when I am active. I played tennis throughout my college. I love animals, dogs and horses. I love the heat. Yesterday I went in the apartment front roof for an hour and half. High sun, it was great to sweat it all out.

D: You talked about this pull within you?
P: In my family, the woman is everything and has had an attitude of being the upper hand. My mother worked late hours. Finding a man who has the potential to provide or whatever but will also take the back seat and allow an aggressive type of person, type of woman who will tell him what to do. So, this is one half of the pull. Though the other side of pull learning to let the man be a man. Take control of, take responsibility of few things. Be a woman and also a physician and healer. So, I guess that kind of pull, being a woman, wanting to have the family and theother side of that is needing to have the similar aggressiveness and drive to start a business. (hand gesture: like an exercise bungee)

D: What is the sensation when you think of such a pull?
P: Pulling it like this apart, where either end won’t snap in the middle, it is constant tension where eventually they come together. It won’t be severed.

D: Tell something more about this.
P: It’s like living two different lives, one here and one there. A mother, a professional, a wife, a person who lives for what the parents want, not making your own decisions. So, there is constant struggle.

D: Constant struggle of?
P: of trying to be two people, of trying to be what people want me to be instead of who I am. It’s a difficult process. I never want to rock the boat, I never want to put people out of the boat, or make them uncomfortable. Always be the peacemaker – unless it tennis. (laughs).

D: So, how would a rocking boat feel?
P: it would scatter people. For myself its fine, I am fine with it but for people around me it would be panic. People abandoning a canoe. The rocking is fine, it’s the panic in the people in it that would bother me. I would take control of the panic and turbulence. I’d calm people down or the boat would capsize and the boat would flip. If we are together, we can scoop water out and yet stay afloat.

D: You spoke about resistance to change, something more about it?
P: That change is inevitable, but yet I think that we can get in states of comfort zone and not really change too much and then that means no growth, not experiencing life to its maximum. Not going forward, not the real potential. I have always wanted to strive to change to better myself as a human in many capacities. It is easy on physical level for me. Physical endurance when you are lifting weights, etc. but there is another part of me, on the emotional, the intellectual level, there I want to be taken care of. I am a good listener and people come and share all their problems. But part of me does not want to deal with that. I feel that just who I am and the whole thing I guess it boils down to the money thing. Kind of this pull again.

D: I am just trying to draw an inference between this pulling thing and the money issue. Can you make me understand this some more?
P: I wish you can make me understand it (laughs).

D: Where does that pull come in as far as the money thing is concerned?
P: I enjoy living. I’ve always run up with whatever I want. I am an only child. I am Daddy’s little girl so whatever I want for the most of that I get. Wanted or not I have got things – horrendous, expensive gift for X’mas. It was artistic. I am grateful for it. It’s a beautiful piece but it’s not me. This money pull thing is about I can be happy with certain things and another part of me really enjoys with the good things of life. It is like being in the light of somebody else. So coming back to expectation, another pull is being independent. As a daughter I feel like put up on a pedestal. When I was a little girl it was always my dad and now it’s very easy for me to be with my fiancé. That is the kind of taken care of feeling. So I can get noticed but not in the spotlight.

D: About being put up on a pedestal, how does it feel?
P: It feels like a queen, like a princess, not a queen.

D: Why not the queen?

P: Because the queen is in the spotlight more. The princess can be a little more in the rough. (hand gesture) Not as many expectations, but can be just pretty or foolish.
D: How does it feel to be a queen?
P: Once the position is earned than it feels fine – maybe lonely at times as more responsibility.
D: What does the word responsibility means to you?
P: It’s not just the princess who doesn’t have any responsibility of just taken care, of loved unconditionally. I love to take care of others but when you take responsibility, you take away the aspect of being taken care of. I adore my dogs, but once you take responsibility, one loses what one was receiving. Not taken care of would be horrible if it was for the kids. While I was not appreciated – when that tie (gesture) is not there, then no expectation from fiancé.

D: That is when we talked about dichotomy, again coming back to money issue, they say money is not everything, that time I see dichotomy. Tell something more about this?
P: It comes a lot from my mom, my dad not so much. She helps my dad out with his business. She has a big house, lake, private expensive schooling, husband, showy horses, going out to dinner, she has enjoyed all that, yet she says all this is not important in life. I agree with her but the dichotomy is that can she do without all these priveliges...could you take a cold shower everyday? I see these people they are really helping 24/7, 365 days a year. There is a little bit of roughness (gesture) something that doesn’t totally match with what she says...

D: You used the word roughness?
P: Roughness like a Velcro you try to pull back and forth, the strings that stick don’t really match with your thoughts and your words, your actions. She should not be like Mother Teresa but she can be gentle with her words....
D: What is this roughness in Velcro, can you say?
P: Yes it is dichotomy. The opposite would be like two slippery pieces of material, they slide along smoothly together (gesture). Roughness means things are not flowing, not like pieces of gel.

D: Talk about both these polarities, one is roughness. Stay with the roughness. What is the roughness like?
P: Sandpaper.

D: How would it feel while it’s rubbing against each other?
P: Rough. It feels like an abrasion, skin abrasion, irritating.

D: Something more about this abrasion with irritation to the skin?
P: If you do it long enough, eventually it will hurt the skin and cause bleeding.

D: What will be the sensation in?
P: It will hurt really bad.

D: What type of pain?
P: Eventually, if you keep doing it and you get down to blood, infection, you will get excruciating pain.

D: Something more about excruciating pain?
P: One that will start and keep going on and on down to the bone. If you still have enough sand on the paper then it goes to the bone, then the hand and arm are split in two. The process hurts not the final act.

D: As against this is the gel, free flow, can you tell about that, how would it feel?
P: Like wax on the windshield, the rain just rolls off, slides off. Soft like jelly, very smooth like the rains, they come together and then just moves. Its like very free and easy.

D: Very smooth, can you talk of smooth?
P: Like silk.

D: Tell about silk.
P: When I was small, I used to have a blanket that was silky, so I used ot suck maybe a kind of comfort thing.

D: In that blanket how did you feel?
P: Good. It was like security blanket. It would be calming. Would put me to sleep.

D: Shall we talk about comfort again and you have talked earlier of comfort zone too? What for you is your comfort zone?
P: My comfort zone for them is I’ll open up to people, to bounce their part and show but its kind of flirtatious type of thing. You can see this, this much but then this I don’t want to, this is mine and so you can’t see that. You don’t know me well enough yet. It keeps you guessing who I am as a person. If you know all of me, there is no more curiosity to know me anymore, then it is over. Keep some curiosity up, keep some private part. Different levels. One level is where I provoke it and at another level I hide it. I’ll go on a beach in the swimsuit, that’s all, you can’t see me any more, you can’t get any closer.

D: Because? Why won’t you allow them?
P: Because then the curiosity isn’t there. The excitement, wanting to know, if you expose everything then nobody really cares but its wanting the people to ask you about it. Oh! So you really do want to know? Why talk if nobody cares?

D: How does it feel to be cared?
P: Kind of like in the limelight. Princess type of feeling again. Not cared would be back corner, a little lonely, like the maid who is doing everything but no one really knows her.

D: Talk about limelight and princess some more.
P: Pretty, beautiful. In princess it is spotlight that is put on that person, that princess but its not prolonged. The queen always has it. She is always seen but the princess isn’t always seen. I really like to be around people but sometimes I have enough, I like to be myself. I don’t like to entertain. My father always bought so many things for me, I would hate to have people over as then I would have to entertain.

D: Something more about this princess, what’s the vision that comes to mind, when you think of princess, where is she, what is she doing, how she dresses, how she feels?
P: She is dressed in a very pretty gown, she is feeling like she can just smile. I was always called this “little angel” (weeps) “she is so nice” she will talk to us. I’m good at that, it comes quite natural. I feel good at certain social occasions, but in other social situations where I feel like an equal, cant show off as lots of other princesses are there.

D: Something more about this pretty gown which this princess is wearing?
P: It’s white, long till ankles, glittery, just really beautiful.

D: How does it feel to the body, to the skin to wear this pretty gown?
P: It will feel majestic. I stand out but yet its ok as long as someone is there next to me. I would never want to be a princess who goes by herself and says “oh! Look at me.” I like to be in the limelight for short period of time and with someone else. Don’t like to be by myself, will feel self-centered. I can never be extravagant yet like to be noticed.

D: What will such a person represent?
P: The self-centered? My dad uses the word - prostituting oneself, showing too much, letting it all hang out. That is disgusting, not attractive, too revealing, yuk. Who would ever respect that?

D: What is respect for you personally?
P: Respected to who I am as a person, as another human being. That means respecting myself as a physical person. Not touching inappropriately or at wrong times. Who I am and what I represent as a person – care shown in a loving way for that. D: Can you visualize for me now something which is majestic in nature, which is also not rough but very smooth and silk like, beautiful, attractive, stands out, what comes to your mind? P: What comes to my mind is my horse – beautiful, that’s the reason we bought him. When he gets into the ring he stands out from all other horses. Very muscular, beautiful neck,mane, brown, chestnut. But he gets disqualified as it resists to reverse.

D: So, how does it feel riding him like that in the show?
P: Its interesting, he is a very bad horse and so we brought him to the trainer, who we knew is very cruel. “Flame” then he just starts performing. Feels great to be in his limelight. The trainer is ultimate.

D: Which other animals do you relate to?
P: Dogs. They are your best companions. They love you no matter what, you can be cruel to them and they come back, love you.

D: Tell me your dreams.
P: People chasing me, military people trying to kill me or catch me, then I find refuge in some church or something and hide in the basement. Felt better with Nat.mur. I never had that dream again. Then I have had a lot dreams like anxiety dreams, I’m getting ready to take a big task, my board exams. Dreams about not finishing in time. People talking in background so I am trying to concentrate here and I just blow up and yell so cant finish in time. Didn’t get a fair chance.( feeling)


D: That’s the feeling , I didn’t get a fair chance?
P: Yes.

D: Some more dreams?
P: I had a dream last night about my uncle ,He is the oldest boy in my dad’s side of family .He kind of thinks of himself like a Godfather . My Dad is the youngest and his business , has been more successful than uncle.

P: My dream was about him and he was teaching this class , he didn’t let me and my friend stay at his house and I was really mad that he didn’t even invite us to sit .We were about an hr and half late for lecture by the time we got there they were on break and he is talking to these people .I come up to him he sort of said, do I recognize you , he was really like a buff guy. He looked really young .He didn’t have his shirt on and he was like sculpted like a body builder, you could see all his muscles very defined .I slapped him on his cheeks (gently) and kissed him and I said I know you are uncle---- and then I walked off and then later on in the day , they started showing pictures and then they said “oh no! lets do the slide show,” they were all of him working out and there was this advertisement . “If you work out like this you can look this young.”

D: What was the feeling in this dream?
P: The first part was anger like I can’t believe that he had been so rude and not invite us to stay at his house .Who the hell he think he is? And then later on it sounds so funny. What is he doing? He is trying to be so young and he is much older man. Feel man, do I look that good when I am that older? One of my aunt is 60, going on 40 – she is amazing, so strong, flexes her muscles... it’s like being free and attractive even when older.

D: Is it important for you to be strong where body is involved? Tell about this.
P: Yes. I have always from a very young age, if I felt like had too many sweets and my mom says you want an ice cream today, I would say no-no , I have had too many already .I had to keep a certain figure. I would work out regarding or play tennis, do weight etc. Feel ugly without it. Felt gross -1 had scoliosis. Just like that horse, that queen, people should be attracted to I love to sweat .The harder the work out the better. In Mexico, my friend has a steam room and we do some yoga postures, and we can hold on for –not very long, because there was so intense heat and I love that spray us down with freezing cold water .Then the sweet starts dripping off again I hate the cold.

D: Something about this scoliosis
P: I was 9 or so I was in ballet and my ballet teacher noticed.
We started seeing a chiropractor. I really got attached to this chiropractor when he moved his practice, I cried when he left .It was kind of weird reaction. . He stabilized it. I never ------- I never had surgery .Its just part of me now, it’s just a little bit of uniqueness in me. I had adeviated septum I feel my Dad is very vain. He puts that on me that I need to be a certain beauty. I had a deviated septum and he pushed to have surgery. So it’s kind of like another deformity, he jokes about this. It rolls of my back People if they notice they will be like, “Does that hurt you” “Is that painful?” “How do you live with that?” If you grew with an arm that’s little different you just adapt. It’s not really painful except for when I am studying and then I get pain where it curves.

D: Is it very obvious shift, an obvious deformity?
P: Some people notice it quite early and some people don’t. it is unpleasant when noticed it could be painful when older – may press on other organs.

UNDERSTANDING OF THE CASE:
STEP 1: KINGDOM CLASSIFICATION:
There are no victim/aggressor issues in this case nor do we see any sensitivity. This rules out the animal and the plant kingdoms. The issue in the case is that “ there is a certain part in me that I like and I don’t want to change” it is a resistance to change and it is difficult to go through a growth process which involves taking big decisions such as marriage, practice. “ I am really confused, I want to start practice and the other part of me wants to be a woman and have children.” She feels that there are certain expectations to live up to and hence she has to perform, take responsibility of the family as a wife and a mother and have a similar aggressiveness and drive to start a business, but at the same time it is difficult for her to be both, so there is constant struggle of trying to be 2 people, of trying to be what people want instead of who she is because then it means to leave your comfort zone and take responsibilities and when you take responsibilities you take away the aspect of being taken care of. There is a weakness in structure – I can’t decisions, I can’t take responsibilities, I want a security blanket. This takes us to the mineral kingdom.
- resistance to change
- constant struggle
- comfort zone
- not going forward
- the real potential
- I’ve always strived to better myself as a human in many capacities
- Physical endurance
- It is easy on physical level for me.
- There is another part of me – the emotional, the intellectual level, there I want to be taken care of.
- Rough/ smooth; these are all mineral remedy expressions.
STEP 2: WHICH SERIES?

The expressions: - “my father always bought so many things for me... “ -“ people that I know really love me and care for me, they see certain future for me. I don’t know what that future exactly is .... though this has never been bluntly said to me, ....” She feels this constant struggle within her to live upto the expectations of others which involves changing from being taken care of to beginning to take care of. From being in the limelight of others like a princess to being in a spotlight like a queen. A princess doesn’t have any responsibilities, she can be pretty or foolish and there has to be someone besides her, she cannot stand alone by herself, as a queen does. A queen is in the spotlight more and people expect a lot from her, not from a princess. It is interesting to note that the chief complaints of our patient have reappeared during a phase of her life when she has now completed her studies and has to now get married i.e. leave her comfort zone where her father used to get all the things for her without even asking and her silky blanket, which used to put her to sleep while she sucked.... In short she has to now leave her comforts, support and security and change herself to one who would be responsible to patients as a practitioner and to a household as a wife and a mother. This change from being a child-like to an adult is very difficult for her.
The fear of losing a good safe and secure life, is the theme of series 4 the Calcium series.
STEP 3: WHICH SUBSTANCE?
Source words/ expressions:
- Resistance to change
- Pulling it like this apart (hand gesture) where either end won’t snap in the middle, it is constant tension where eventually they come together. It won’t be severed.
- Difficult process - to go through change.
- Never want to rock the boat.
- It would scatter people, people abandoning the canoe - the rocking is fine it’s the panic in the people around me that would bother me I would take control of the panic and turbulence.
- Be in a comfort zone and not really change too much and this means not too much growth, not experiencing life to its maximum, not going forward, the real potential.
- Physical endurance like lifting weights is ok.
- It boils down to money thing.
- Daddy’s little girl – whatever I want for the most of that I get, wanted or not I have got things – horrendous expensive gift.
- Artistic
- Beautiful piece
- Put up on a pedestal
- I can be noticed but not in the spotlight.
- Queen vs princess : a queen has earned a position but always in the spotlight, lonely with lot of responsibilities, entertain people by showing off things you have and get appreciated in return.( Platina) A princess has all comforts, taken care of, no expectations to be fulfilled. “She is feeling she can just smile. I was always called this little angel.”
- I really like to be around people but sometimes I have had enough, I like to be myself,dont like to entertain.
- Pretty gown, white, long till the ankles, glittery.
- Roughness like sandpaper, opposite is soft like jelly, very smooth, silk like a security blanket, comfort thing.
- Show a bit and hide a bit so that there is curiosity to know more , kind of flirtatious type, that’s the way people will want to ask about you “ Oh! So you really do want to know? Why talk if nobody cares.”
- Majestic. I stand out but yet it is ok as long as someone is there next to me. I would never want to be the princess that go by themselves and say, “Oh! Look at me.”
- Be in a limelight (dictionary meaning: glare of publicity) for short period of time and with someone else.( get noticed with a support by the side)
- In the show
- Smooth, silk like, beautiful, attractive, stands out, not rough.
- Gentle vs rude
- Strong
- Need to look young and attractive – certain beauty.
- Adapt.
We prescribed MARBLE 1M, single dose.

FOLLOW – UP: (09-07-04 through e-mail)
I’m writing you to up date you on how the medicine has been helping me. I have taken about 3 doses of 200 and 2 doses of 1M since our consultation. I have had lots of tears as a form of emotional release over the past few months. The release has been good, I’m not always clear why I’m crying, or what the emotion is stemming from but it feels good to break down with the emotions and tears ( of course nobody is around when this happens). I have been able to be more clear in my thoughts and have a sense of ability to go inward and meditate and gain some deep insight, something I used to do often as a child that got diminished over the past few years. I have had a lot of childhood feeling ( which was a good time of life) surface. The situation I am currently in has forced me to take authortative decisions and be very clear on my needs and desires. Telling people what to do and what I want has not been an easy thing for me all my life as I’m often more concerned about what other people want and I will forget my needs for the sake of others. This is coming more in balance where I am beginning to become more able to express my needs and accepts the fulfillment vs fulfilling others needs/ wants. Also there have been many changes in life this past year and especially since I havereturned home from India. I am planning a wedding and getting married in September (very emotional time of life). I have graduated from medical school and getting ready to not only start practicing but go into the ‘real world’ (work world vs academic world) for the first time in my life. I am also in the process of moving from the west coast back to the east coast of the States, set up house, make new friends, etc. all very new and exciting times of life. As for the physical aspects: my allergies have been 80 percent better or more. No sneezing attacks, no itchy roof of mouth or itchy ears. I’m able to be around the horses and the barn with very little reaction. No itchy eyes (occasional around the horses but that is a total allergic stimuli emersion) in June I am not sure exactly what was going on but I had symptoms of asthma in the evening ( wheezing and difficulty breathing) in the morning starting around 9 am ( I was getting up at 7am) I would start coughing starting with thick green mucus discharge and rumbling in my chest with breathing and coughing. After 3 weeks I repeated a dose of the medicine in 1M.
My scoliosis I have not noticed much change. I am getting some bodywork done as people have been telling me how ‘crooked’ I look However I have had a lot more movement in mw upper thoracic area than usual. A return of symptoms - I have been getting more frequent headaches which I used to have often as a child.
Sleep has been good – no recurring dreams.
Appetite has been good. Energy – good, lot of energy. Occasionally get very sleepy in the afternoon, have to take a 10min. nap and its good for the rest of the afternoon till evening. Temperature – I remain a cold person in temperature. Cold hands and feet. With the summer heat however I have been good.
So in summary, I think the remedy is working well. I have only been using as I mentioned 200 and 1M potencies, i.e. I repeat a dose when I feel things are not moving in correct direction or I feel a stop in my ‘ metamorphosis’.

Marble
Marble is a metamorphic rock resulting from the metamorphism of limestone, composed mostly of calcite (a crystalline form of calcium carbonate, CaCO 3 ). It is extensively used for sculpture, as abuilding material, and in many other applications. The word 'marble' is colloquially used to refer to many other stones that are capable of taking a high polish.
Venus de Milo, front.
Faux marble or faux marbling is a wall painting technique that imitates the color patterns of real marble (not to be confused with paper marbling). Marble dust can be combined with cement or synthetic resins to make reconstituted or cultured marble. Places named after the stone include Marble Arch, London; the Sea of Marmara; India's Marble Rocks; and the towns of Marble, Minnesota; Marble, Colorado; and Marble Hill, Manhattan, New York. TheElgin Marbles are marble sculptures from the Parthenon that are on display in the British Museum. They were brought to Britain by the Earl of Elgin.
Origins
Marble is a metamorphic rock resulting from regional or at times contact metamorphism of sedimentary carbonate rocks, either limestone or dolostone. This metamorphic process causes a complete recrystallization of the original rock into an interlocking mosaic of calcite and/or dolomite crystals. The temperatures and pressures necessary to form marble usually destroy any fossils and sedimentary textures present in the original rock.

Marble.
Pure white marble is the result of metamorphism of very pure limestones. The characteristic swirls and veins of many colored marble varieties are usually due to various mineral impurities such as clay, silt,sand, iron oxides, or chert which were originally present as grains or layers in the limestone. Green coloration is often due to serpentine resulting from originally high magnesium limestone or dolostone with silica impurities. These various impurities have been mobilized and recrystallized by the intense pressure and heat of the metamorphism. Kinds of marble

Blocks of cut marble at the historic mill in Marble, Colorado
Some historically important kinds of marble, named after the locations of their quarries, include:
• Thassos from Greece
• Paros from Greece
• Penteli from Greece
• Carrara and Luni from Italy
• Proconnesus from Turkey
• Connemara from Ireland
• Macael from Spain
• Makrana from India
• Danby from Vermont
• Yule from Colorado
• Royal White from China
• Beijing White from China
• Vietnam White from Vietnam
White marbles, like Carrara in Italy,Royal White and Bejing White in China, have been prized for sculpture since classical times. This preference has to do with the softness and relative isotropy and homogeneity, and a relative resistance to shattering. Also, the low index of refraction of calcite allows light to penetrate several millimeters into the stone before being scattered out, resulting in the characteristic ""waxy"" look which gives ""life"" to marble sculptures of the human body.
Construction marble
In the construction trade, the term "marble" is used for any massive, crystalline calcitic rock (and some non-calcitic rocks) useful as building stone. For example, Tennessee Marble is really a massive, highly fossiliferous gray to pink to maroon Ordovician dolostone, known as the Holston Formation by geologists.
Industrial use of marble
Colourless marbles are a very pure source of calcium carbonate, which is used in a wide variety of industries. Finely ground marble powder is a component in paints, toothpaste, and plastics; calcium carbonate can also be reduced under high heat to calcium oxide (also known as "lime"), which has many applications including being a primary component of most cements.
EtymologyThe word "marble" derives from the Greek marmaros, "shining stone" (OED). This stem is also the basis for the English word "marmoreal" meaning ""marble-like".
Cultural associations
As the favorite medium for Greek and Roman sculptors and architects, marble has become a cultural symbol of tradition and refined taste. Its extremely varied and colorful patterns make it a favorite decorative material, and are often imitated — e.g. in background patterns for computer displays.
In folklore, marble is associated with the astrological sign of Gemini. Pure white marble is an emblem of purity. It is also an emblem of immortality, and an insurer of success in education. Three patterns of marble....

The Provings of Granite, Marble and Limestone
by Nuala Eising and The Burren School of Homeopathy Reviewed by Karl Robinson, M.D.
The proving of Marble begins with a dream. Eising relates that a man who has been appearing in her dreams for years tells her that now the Granite proving is done she needs to go to the Inagh Valley. He specifies it must be the Inagh Valley in Connemara, not in Co. Clare. He showed her examples of people who live there. ""They were wild and lawless,"" she writes. ""They seemed like very nice people so long as one did not mess with them."" On waking, she realized she did not know where the Inagh Valley was, but soon located it on a map. She also did not know what she was supposed to find. She visited the valley many times, but nothing was clear. So she waited.
The next bit of imponderabilia came in another dream , this one from one of Eising's homeopathic students. She related Eising had taken her somewhere in Connemara where she got crushed under a large, white rock which thoroughly disturbed her. She asked Eising what to do, and (still in the dream) Eising simply told her it was okay, that she was undergoing a metamorphosis. From that dream Eisingunderstood the rock had to be either marble or quartz, those being the only white rocks in the area.
The next clue was equally strange. Eising and some students had had "a few drinks" when one student said to her, "I can't understand your stamina. You must be on something. You must be on marble." The student hadn't a clue why she said what she said, but Eising tucked it away in her head.
Hold on! It gets weirder yet. In 1993 Eising was presented with the opportunity to work with a group of 12 children from Belarus, about 40 km. from Chernobyl. The children, aged 9 to 12 years, were brought to Ireland for six months, primarily for homeopathic treatment.
Eising's impressions: "The most noticeable thing about the children was their sadness and sense of resignation. They were very pale and translucent in appearance. They were also very""wide-eyed"" looking directly and very seriously. Their fear of being touched was also very apparent. All of us who met the children at this stage were mesmerized by them. We felt we would do anything for these children."
What to do? Fortunately for Eising, and fortunately for the rest of us, she had another dream. The same man appeared and told her explicitly the children would need Granite first, but then they must have Marble. He told her in the dream: "Granite is always appropriate for the initial and peripheral effects of radioactivity. These children have undergone a metamorphosis. Look at Limestone and Marble. They are both calcium carbonate. The intense heat and pressure when Granite is forming turns Limestone to Marble. Although Marble is calcium, it is metamorphic calcium. When people are close to a major radioactive disaster like Chernobyl, there is at first an intense internal heat, and gradually their calcium cells begin to change. These children are the metamorphic version of their original state, and as such, they need Marble, which is the most similar. Look at the children, their pallor, their translucence just like white marble. Marble crumbles from the inside-the shine on the outside holds it together. The same happens to people affected by high levels of radiation-they disintegrate from the inside."
That did it. Eising then proved Marble.
At this point, the observant reader might recall the section on Granite where on page one Eising mentioned dreaming of Connemara and seeing the caption, "CONNEMARA IS THE DAY AFTER." Now that caption's true eerie meaning becomes apparent-it is the day after a radioactive catastrophe such as occurred in Chernobyl.
Before she relates the Marble proving Eising tells how (following her dream instructions) she gave all the children from Belarus Granite. She doesn't say it like that, however. What she writes is that they gave Granite 30c on these symptoms (which all the children had):
• "the idea that something terrible was going to happen"
• "the sense of invasion"

• "fear of people"
• "fear of touch"
• "the beautiful haughty 'Platina' fantasy that is also in Granite."
The children all improved. Eising and her children assumed that once the Granite ""layer"" was out of the way, they would need Phosphorus or Platina as they seemed to have symptoms of both remedies. It didn't work out that way. Instead she had another dream. Again her man appeared and said, ""Nuala, look at these children. You were a cat when you were doing the Marble proving. These children are cats all the time. They need Marble and they need it now. The thing with Marble people is that they are likely to look like Phosphorous, be as arrogant as Platina, and be as charming and deceitful as Thuja. While Platina may dazzle with possessions, name-dropping, etc., Marble will only do so with their eyes and bodies. These children need Marble now.""The children did get Marble and they did extremely well. And by that time the proving was underway. Lo and behold, many of the provers reported feeling cat-like and thought they were gorgeous and charming. Many seemed to feel ""wide-eyed,"" and a number of their friends confirmed they indeed looked that way. All the hardness and coldness and icy charm that had been predicted in Eising's dream showed up in the provers. One woman prover dreamt her husband was being hanged. They were in India. ""I felt no trauma. I was only concerned that I do the right thing. There were social forms to be followed. It was most important that I be graceful and silent. Even though I could see him hanging, the most important thing was social form. I was very sweet expressioned, eyes down, almost closed."" That dream, strange as it was, entirely captured the mood of some of the Belarus girls.
SYNOPTIC MATERIA MEDICA II BY FRANS VERMEULEN:
Leading symptoms:
MENTALS :
- Very cold, both emotionally and physically.
- Self-centered, haughty and selfish.
- Demanding, but in a quite manner.
- “ I was purring and thought I was a cat. I was stretching and squirming in the bed thinking I am the most gorgeous creature that ever walked this planet. Everyone is going to love me, I am so charming. Obsessed by my own charms.... I am like a cat that got the cream.... Feeling very spacy, self-contained, in control, calm and I love being alone... my eyes feel wide. I feel distinctly feline. I can use my body and eyes and people will do anything for me. Everyone will help and I love being taken care of... I was enjoying playing cat and mouse. Feel cold towards others. Want to be let alone. Testing people- suspicious. I looked in the mirror yesterday and thought how beautiful I am. I keep cutting my hair. I am extremely aware of birds. I have to stop and look for them if I hear them. I am singing al the time. I am an awful hypocrite; street angel, house devil. The way I am acting has nothing to do with what I am thinking or feeling. I seem to be more concerned about the image – charming and nice and getting what I want. I should be a princess in some exotic warm country. Quite and refined, with lots of people taking care of my needs – quietly and discretely.... I get a great desire to curl up beside my husband and be stroked. It has to be when I want to – not the other way round . I feel I am keeping up appearances but am disintegrating on the inside. I am falling apart but can’t let anyone else see how I am feeling. I want people to think I am kind and sweet. Underneath, I have been feeling mean and selfish and a little vicious.”
- Lack of vital heat. “ very cold hands. Tips of fingers very cold, icy. Feet very cold, numb, gone white. Freezing cold all the time. Can’t get warm.”
- Aversion to bathing.
- Undressing aggravates.
- Craving for raw meat.
- Increased sexual desire.
- Flatulence.
- Clenching teeth in sleep.
- Desire to bite on something. Feels like pressing on teeth.